I know I should not blur out those words. I do not know what my mind is thinking.
For a whole second, I truly hope he did not hear those words.
It is my fault this time. I should not have imposed my own pressure on other persons, especially those close ones.
This might end badly, badly, and I am gonna take all the responsibilities for my wrong doings.
Life has sucked since a long time ago, and what I am looking for will not come very soon.
I just can not endure life like this any more. I need a change, a change~
someway, somehow, by someone or anyone
who can save me from my mess? I guess nobody really can, not because nobody is willing to~
I wish I were dead~ then i do not need to worry too much or think too much~
there is not any way or any side of my life that makes me happy!
the only persons i might not be able to say goodbye are my parents, i hope they are doing good, even without me.
they should at least get used to it, just in case some day, it happens,
because nothing is permanent, and anything can happen
my life is just a piece of crap!!
i do not know how to face them when i really do that, that weird and sadistic thought has been there for a while
and every night when i am on my bed, i am thinking about it.
i miss the childish, innocent little girl, which i will never be able to come back to
i can remember that when i was very young,
i sincerely hoped that i only lived 29 years and died before i turned into 30
that might be a good thing, actually,
i do miss my old friends, those nice, kind hearted and warm old friends
i do not know if they will really be there when i need them
but i should at least give them some trust.
i am a bad guy, have hurt a lot of people who appeared in my life
for some of them, they still can not forgive me for what i have done
i understand, and i hope they are better off without me
life is getting crazier, and i do not think i am ready for that yet
whatever, who cares?
